Lamott often seeks solace in nature and uses hikes in the woods or a walk on the beach as a peace tonic, and a reminder to stay in the now. She compares the compassionate support to building a barn around the family - a shelter against the cruel unfairness of reality. When a friend’s child is diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, a community of friends and neighbors offers food, rides, baby-sitting and hugs. She’s learned the best you can do is try not to fix people, just show up and listen. She says it’s not only OK to yell, scream and cry, it’s probably necessary to receive the best gifts of grief: “softness and illumination.” In several essays on dying with dignity and the mourning process, Lamott suggests grief is an individual experience with no set timetable or behavior rules. Alas, no love connection, but she finds satisfaction in conquering the awkwardness and fear of dating. One wore an unbuttoned tropical shirt, another had an unbearable laugh. Her Goldilocks parade of prospects included men who were anti-religion, self-involved, apolitical and hated her politics. Lamott’s subtle humor is at its best when she describes her foray into Internet dating. “I was trying to get her to carry all this for me because it hurt too much to carry it myself,” Lamott writes.
Once she sees the situation clearly, she’s able to accept the woman’s kindness and forgive herself for not being perfect. In one story, she decides a fellow mom at school is her “Enemy Lite.” She’s certain this hateful woman - who’s either exercising or baking cupcakes - is judging her, and perpetually trying to show her up.īut as the relationship evolves, she realizes she was projecting all her fears of failure and maternal insecurities onto this woman. Lamott acknowledges many character flaws that ring true for anyone. “You sacrifice the need to be right, because you have been wronged, and you put down the abacus that helped you keep track of things,” she writes. In separate essays about her father and mother, Lamott shares intimate details of growing up in a family that suffered from “spiritual anorexia.” Her vulnerability is tangible, even years later.įorgiveness is a recurring theme as Lamott strives to let go of anger and resentment and concentrate on the present. A sensitive and thoughtful soul, she’s also a feisty liberal - and doesn’t pull political punches, taking several opportunities to bash President George W. Now 60, Lamott’s conversational and confessional style - sprinkled with pop culture references - feels modern and cool, like her trademark dreadlocks. She boils complicated matters down to basics, and stretches the limits of emotional depth in simple stories with larger lessons.
Her tone is intimate and the pace slow, allowing readers to linger over each essay, like a great meal with friends you never want to end.
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